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SiGMA Issue 20

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2 VISIT US AT SIGMA EUROPE Racial Identity" width="" height="">

Racial Identity: Getting another job as a person of color is so difficult, no matter how talented you are.

 

Some of it is sussing out, “How many people were in that role before?” I&#;m talking to other people, not only during a search process but ideally informally outside of the process, to get to know a bit about the culture of the team org and that person. I will say is that when that&#;s navigated well and you can get trusting relationships, that&#;s not always easy. Streets will talk. From where I sit and the information I can get, the kinds of things people tell me about people in org is wow.

If I get people in a lot of work environments, let’s talk and you keep it real. It&#;s about framing it as a, “I want to be real skinny because this is important for me.” Some of it is a personalized thing, “I&#;m not going to attribute to you. I want to understand because this is my livelihood. I want to make sure that I can get a place where I can thrive.” For a lot of people, when you open up your vulnerability, I think enough people react well to that.

You can get honest feedback. Vulnerability can be used as the Excalibur to get past the fog of toxic leadership. Vulnerability at the same time with toxic leaders is not something I would use with them but with other people around them. Toxic leaders will want to use your vulnerability and hurt you. You have to protect yourself a good deal. I would say you have to play the politician. You have to play the okie-doke in order for them to survive. To be safe around them.

Thank you for everything. I appreciate your knowledge and insights and how this is personal to you. With that being said, what would you leave our readers with related to words of wisdom?

I&#;m going to read what is always my default favorite quote which I think will be apropos. I&#;ll give you the background of this. I got this James Baldwin quote and it&#;s from Nobody Knows My Name. When one of my friends who I went to NYU with left her job in a public theater, she had a big going away party. She decided to go to Asia to move. She’s Filipino like me. What&#;s also cool was that I got to see the last Noise Funk on Broadway, where Savion Glover came back and Gregory Hines tapped with him. It was surreal.

She took me to that show. She said, “Ron, why don&#;t you come over here?” I was like, “I’ll come.” Having seen Hamilton live, that will probably supplant Noise Funk, admittedly. Noise Funk is the best Broadway production I&#;ve seen in years. It&#;s better than Les Mis. I&#;ve seen a lot of stuff but the context of this quote is that she was giving this on a postcard to people to give understanding as to why she was doing what she was doing.

I think this will help with understanding generally when you&#;re undergoing toxic leadership, something that is grounding about what&#;s on the other side of beyond toxic leadership. “To any real change implies the breakup of the world as one has always known it. The loss of all that gave one an identity, the end of safety. At such a moment, unable to see and not daring to imagine what the future will now bring forth, one clings to what one knew or dreamed that possessed.&#;

&#;Yet, it is only when a man is able, without bitterness or self-pity, to surrender a dream he has long possessed that he is set free. He set himself free for higher dreams for greater privileges.” I think about that quote. It’s letting go. Letting go is the hardest thing in this situation because you think it&#;s you but you got to let go of that thing you&#;re involved in. That&#;s hard because you bring that as part of your identity.

Thank you for sharing that. Before we go, one of the things we talked about is the power of relationships. With that being said, how can people get ahold of you?

Messenger pigeon or they can send smoke signals. If you are intuitive like me, you just have do a Professor X. If you&#;re a five senses person, you can find me on Instagram or Twitter @PhenomeRon. I&#;m also easily findable on LinkedIn or Facebook. Look up Ron Rapatalo. I like to brag so I&#;ll brag here. My LinkedIn connections are closing in on 20, I&#;m always looking to add more people. I&#;d like to get to the 30,connection limit because the more amazing people you have in your network, I think the richer my life becomes. Come at me. I&#;m always happy to chat.

Thank you, Ron.

You&#;re welcome.

I appreciate crossing paths with you and having this wonderful conversation.

Thank you. I appreciate it.

Yeah. I thank you for reading. Until next time.

 

Important links

 

About Ron Rapatalo

Ron Rapatalo’s career vision is coaching, connecting, and inspiring others to find their best selves through healthier living, increased mindfulness/interconnection, and stronger intention/strategy. He believes in the power of intuition and deepening one’s self-awareness and impact on others. He also believes that we must dismantle systems of oppression and racism to recover our fullest humanity.

Ron has been a talent shepherd for 15+ years, recruiting and selecting thousands of candidates to become education and nonprofit leaders. He joined Edgility full-time in September after consulting with them and other search firms for over 4 years.

Ron is also a coach, giving career advice on how to navigate career transitions and present oneself from networking to interviewing. He also supports others on how to live healthier lives. He believes in the power of connecting with others to support, nurture and develop our talents. He is an active member of the NYU alumni community for over 20 years, currently serving as an Officer Emeritus of the NYU Alumni Association. He is also an active member of the Education Leaders of Color and a Coro Leadership New York alumnus.

In his spare time, Ron loves spending time with his wife Shanita and his daughters Sofia and Ava, whether it’s watching reality TV, enjoying Jeopardy!, or devouring favorite movies/shows on Netflix. He’s also an avid yoga practitioner, meditator, and obstacle course racer. A native New Yorker, he’s a rabid New York Yankees and New York Giants fan.

FALL/WINTER - ОСЕНЬ/ЗИМА FEATURE FALL/WINTER - ОСЕНЬ/ЗИМА FEATURE

BUILDING PEOPLE, FOUNDING LIVES

РАЗВИТИЕ

With the global need for philanthropy at an all-time high, the time to act is now. No one understands this better than the SiGMA Foundation, the philanthropic arm of SiGMA Group. The Foundation is committed to supporting those who are most in need.

Keith Marshall founded the Foundation alongside Eman Pulis, Founder of SiGMA Group, with the purpose of shifting the focus of philanthropy from ‘passive giving’ to ‘active participation’. Regarded by many as a battery of ceaseless energy, Keith knows how to put the FUN in FUNdraiser, having dedicated his life to the betterment of thousands through the organisation of various expeditions across the globe.

To not wither on the vine, great ideas require funding. The Foundation uses the money raised to fund its many projects as well as support communities in need and other charitable organisations. It is just as much about building buildings as it is about building people and is set firmly on the foundations of education, healthcare and awareness. Beyond financial aid, a number of projects focus on providing those in need with the opportunity and resources to learn crucial skills.

Finally, the Foundation is thoroughly devoted to its many donors and associates. Fully dedicated to the core value of transparency, the Foundation is run by a team of directors who diligently ensure that every fund raised is utilised in the best way possible. Chief among them are Austin Cachia, John Vella and Matthew Spiteri, who alongside Keith have given their blood, sweat and tears to get the Foundation to where it is today.

Поскольку глобальная потребность в благотворительности как никогда высока, пришло время действовать. Никто не понимает это лучше, чем фонд SiGMA, благотворительное подразделение SiGMA Group. Фонд стремится поддерживать тех, кто больше всего в этом нуждается.

Keith Marshall основал Фонд вместе с Eman Pulis, основателем SiGMA Group, с целью сместить фокус благотворительности с «пассивного пожертвования» на «активное участие». Keith, которого многие считают источником неиссякаемой энергии, знает, как превратить РАЗВЛЕЧЕНИЕ в FUNraiser, посвятив свою жизнь улучшению положения тысяч людей посредством организации различных экспедиций по всему миру.

Чтобы не зачахнуть на корню, великие идеи требуют финансирования. Фонд использует собранные деньги для финансирования своих многочисленных проектов, а также для поддержки нуждающихся сообществ и других благотворительных организаций, понимая роль, которую играет образование в искоренении бедности. Речь идет не только о строительстве зданий, но и о создании людей, и она прочно основана на базах образования, здравоохранения и осведомленности. Помимо финансовой помощи, ряд проектов направлен на предоставление нуждающимся возможности и ресурсов для приобретения важнейших навыков.

Наконец, Фонд полностью предан своим многочисленным жертвователям и партнерам. Полностью приверженный основной ценности прозрачности, Фонд управляется командой директоров, которые старательно следят за тем, чтобы каждый собранный капитал использовался наилучшим образом. Главные из них – Austin Cachia, John Vella и Matthew Spiteri, которые вместе с Keith отдали свою кровь, пот и слезы, чтобы Фонд стал тем, чем он является сегодня.

27

ISSUE 20 Racial Identity" width="" height="">

Racial Identity: You could attract talented people, but if the culture isn&#;t taken care of, people leave. People will take less salary if they could for a better culture.

I was reading this book called Insight because I&#;m a little bit of a self-awareness nerd. The woman who wrote it is a social psychologist. Funny enough, at the end of her book, she talks about three different toxic leadership archetypes. The lost cause, aware don&#;t care and someone you can nudge, the nudger. I can&#;t help but use that framework to think about if you have a toxic leader or toxic boss, what lane of those three archetypes is your boss in?

The lost cause means that you can give that person feedback but they&#;re probably not going to take it. They&#;re headed so far up their butt that they act the way that they act. Some of that I would say is mitigating harm, frankly. The book gave a lot of techniques on how to deal with that. One of the things that were interesting is if you&#;re talking to that person, it&#;s almost like you&#;re a laugh track. You feel sorry for that person. Folks are just dealing with their trauma.

They&#;re on their own journey. Some of us are trying to think about ways to empathize a bit more with them so that we can protect ourselves. The aware don&#;t care is a tougher one. It&#;s that person you can give feedback to and they gaslight and say, “The reason why I&#;m shouting you off is that you need the motivation to do things. I wouldn&#;t do it if you did your work.” That person is totally what I would say, a dangerous person. That person is probably not even worth giving feedback to either.

The person that you can nudge, I think my advice is if you have someone you think you can nudge to advise you to figure out who someone was a better relationship with that person you think you confide in to able to say, “How have you been successful working with that person?” Here&#;s a bit of what I&#;m dealing with. Some of it is that person can advocate on your behalf or share some things with you. In the other two cases, aware and don&#;t care and the lost cause, it&#;s about minimizing harm.

I&#;m not saying that in every circumstance, at that moment, you have to leave your job because you got to pay bills. You got to find your exit plan. I would say, if you identify a toxic leader or boss, more often than not, you better start thinking about what your plan B is. “Is this situation salvageable in the short-term that I have the psychological space and safety to look for something else?&#; I don&#;t believe most times an organization has a toxic leader or manager but in my anecdotal experience, you&#;re going to fix that person, make it easier or find somewhere else to go with your organization especially in the nonprofit.

ften, those toxic leaders have been there for a reason. I&#;ve seen the archetype of this person to have a lot of power and privilege because of their title. You&#;re protected because of their history with the entity that may even be the CEO or ED. This is where race and identity plays into this. Let’s keep it real. I&#;m not saying that people of color can exhibit toxic leadership. I&#;ve had it once with a leader of color. The other time I had it was with a White person.

When you put White dominant culture and toxic masculinity as two big things I&#;ve often seen in toxic leadership, those are things just to be well aware of. This is the book&#;s study and understanding these things helps that if you ever fall in a situation like that, you have a framework of understanding so that you can assess objectively. The thing I wish I would have told myself in , was to have trusted that gut. If I were to read a book like Insight, it was around back then. It was something like that. If I had trusted my wife&#;s ear more than taking the job with the most stuff I told her and to even rewind past that, I was in an organization for seven years. I wanted out. I didn&#;t feel on an upward trajectory.

Your frame of mind about what&#;s next will take you to pick things for all the wrong reasons. What I then coach people to do is to think about what are the 3 to 5 non-negotiables you&#;re looking? Let’s be clear on that rather than just taking the next thing because you want it, which is what happened to me. In retrospect, I&#;m glad I went through that because I wouldn&#;t be able to coach with the authority and support clients the way that I do if I didn&#;t have those two things happen.

You have a superpower even more to help others because of that personalization of it, your ability to be empathetic. Thank you for sharing that. I&#;m interested in hearing from you when we talk about the intersection of race and identity and how these White dominant culture norms tend to manifest, I&#;ve heard a lot of people in the US at least talk about that very openly now. I know people of color. We&#;ve been experiencing these things all the time and it&#;s always been in our gut, like, “Something is off.” What do you think the impact is on people of color who are struggling with that? What does that feel like?

This is where the imposter syndrome starts to show up. I&#;m a very intuitive spiritual person. The things that I think reside in our ability to sense what is right, not just with our five senses but in our being. You start to question yourself because it&#;s being in a bad Groundhog Day movie. You experience the same thing over and over again and yet you get the same outcome and know what&#;s about to happen. You just cannot stop it. I think about the White supremacy standards document that&#;s been out for some time.

That&#;s a good thing for people to point towards, like binary thinking. Urgency is a big one that often pops up. That is the impact of questioning yourself, skills, stress, physical, emotional and spiritual that you get from being in these places. That toxicity, when it starts to get into you some people internalize it. Some people lash out at others and their families. Sometimes you&#;d think, &#;I just have to work that much harder to prove myself.&#; The imposter syndrome pops up. I&#;m like, “Maybe if I showed them that I&#;m capable of these things. Maybe if I play the game a little bit more, become a lot more accommodating when I&#;m asked to do things.&#;

If I get that AM email, “I&#;m so sorry I didn’t respond to it. I fell asleep at ” It&#;s pretty incredible the things that people will do to act because I think many of us have been taught as people of color that getting another job is difficult but we are so talented. I say this from a position of privilege. I&#;m a hetero male. I&#;m Asian American. I&#;m Filipino American.

I am coming from a different experience than folks I know who are Black men or Black women, particularly who will be, “Look at your ambiguous last name. People don&#;t know you&#;re Filipino until they see you. Even then sometimes they don’t believe that.&#; You can carry yourself a certain way. I am like, &#;That is correct.&#; I began to give a big asterisk that how you are going to govern yourself in the workplace and the experience you have. Your identity and what you&#;ve experienced are true.

You have to use that to better understand what you&#;re willing to do and not do as you govern how toxic leadership is. We all know the archetypes in the stories are people of color. What we experience is as valuable data like that and I&#;m sick and tired in these conversations that we need to present another report.

It impacts everybody. To survive in that toxic workplace, you&#;ve been perpetuating toxicity to others. Second, coaching and having a career coach, employment coach and talent coach and things like that to help with resume support and knowing your worth. It’s always helpful to hear somebody coach you through that because that imposter syndrome is a pretty heavy burden. Back to the frame of sometimes to survive, people may perpetuate toxicity to others but not know it. How does one know if they are exhibiting toxic leadership themselves?

Be brave to get feedback from others. I don&#;t think a toxic leader or a sociopath looks in the mirror and says, “I&#;m that. I get it.” They wouldn&#;t use that term. They would just say, “I am a demanding leader.” All these other things. Code words for toxic. What I&#;ve seen, though, is that there&#;s usually a pattern for other people experienced enough people experience similar things from that toxic leader or manager. Being micromanaged, not being given experiences to do other work, not being included in certain meetings. Being shared information late or like, “You shouldn&#;t.” The throwaway. Being demeaned in public or via email.

Even in private.

It shouldn&#;t have to take seeing it from other people. If you’re experiencing it then that&#;s real. It should be an ideal world where there&#;s that safety mechanism. Talking to someone in HR about that. Sometimes the toxic leaders are communicating with HR. HR is not going to do much or they&#;re going to out you at some level. They haven&#;t had a reputation for protecting their employees from toxic leadership. This gets back to then the hiring process. You&#;re a candidate.

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