Интернет Трейдинг Программы Форекс, Литература По Forex Tag=imac

Introduction

Hello everyone, if you’ve visited my blog in the past, you probably know that I like to write about topics such as spirituality, mental struggles, and growth. And if you haven’t I greet you wholeheartedly.

In the few posts that I’ve written, I talked a lot about my spiritual growth and how this came about, so if you’re interested in reading those stories or want to enjoy a little refresher feel free to check them out here. Usually, these posts were very long, and I would work on them for about a week or two. I intend to change this from now on and instead want to focus on writing more posts regularly.

There are a couple of reasons for that and all of them have to do with being paralyzed by insecurity. Insecurity has been a general theme in my life which I recently decided to take head-on. It was also the primary reason I stopped writing at the time. I was feeling overwhelmed and was very insecure about myself. This is furthermore why my posts were so long because I was being too perfectionistic about it. 

“Insecurity kills all that is beautiful.”

~Demi Lovato

Relapse

At the time that I was posting on my blog, I was sober and talked about my previous relationship with weed. Regrettably, after that summer I completely relapsed into my old habits. Three months after I smoked my first joint that year I was back to smoking daily. Alongside it enforced even deeper feelings of regret, shame, and insecurity. But why was I feeling so insecure in the first place? 

Looking back at it now, I remember being extremely ambitious at the time. My girlfriend (now fiancee) and I just got together, and I was ready to start my dream life. At least I thought I was. 

I never really addressed the problem of insecurity. I was just trying to fake it ‘til I made it, which can be an effective strategy from time to time. But it can get difficult if insecurity is so deeply rooted in your survival strategy.

You might be wondering what I was so insecure about. At the time it was many things. First of all, I had no idea where my career was going. I never completed a study and was worried that if my newly found girlfriend were to see my inability to become successful the relationship wouldn’t last. As a result, I tried extra hard to become a person of significance. And over the past 2 years, I’ve started and quit multiple entrepreneurial endeavors.

So as you can see the problem I was trying to avoid led me to my failures. Fortunately for me though, my girlfriend was very understanding of the situation. She loves me no matter what person I become. 

“Only the insecure strive for security.”

~Wayne Dyer

The Root Of The Problem

Not long ago, I quit weed again and this time I made it a very conscious undertaking. I made sure to have people to talk to and aid me through the entire process. I wrote daily in my diary to make sure I never forget why I quit and which things triggered me to smoke weed. I’ll write about this more in-depth in the upcoming posts.

As I’ve been focussing on my insecurity issues it occurred to me that I’ve had troubles dealing with this my entire life. This is also presumably the main reason I never finished a study, and in more recent times didn’t manage to succeed as an entrepreneur. Every time the going got tough I felt overwhelmed and instead of breaking through this resistance I just grabbed the first thing that distracted me from this uneasy feeling. Most of the time, this was weed, but another one of my favorite distraction tools was gaming. 

Over the years it has come to grow on me that this is indeed the case. I am distracting myself whenever I feel overwhelmed and need to stop doing it and start working on the things that I see myself doing in the future. The problem has been that all of this primarily happens unconsciously. And so without even thinking about it, I would already be smoking a joint or have started up a video game. 

One of my favorite things to tell myself was that I just genuinely liked doing these things. The underlying frustration that came from that I simply redirected onto other things or people.

For example:

‘Why are my teammates so bad at this game?’

‘Why aren’t people just nice to each other?’

There was always a way to redirect my frustrations in some way, while in reality I was frustrated with myself for not pushing through the resistance I felt. It’s been this way for a very long time. When I was a teenager I would do the same thing. 

“Sometimes our thoughts are backed by so much insecurity that they create lies we believe.”

The Solution

There are probably hundreds of approaches to fixing this problem. Chances are likely that I’ve read or have known about all of them for a while now. Which in a way further developed the issues I was dealing with. I call this Paralysis By Overanalysis. Simply put, I’d rather engage in learning about how to deal with the problem than deal with the actual problem.

This, in turn, would result in feeling even more insecure, because every time I learned a new solution another thing was added to the List Of Things I Need To Do, But Can’t For Some Reason.

This is also why being addicted to something is so incredibly dangerous because whatever reasoning I had to engage in the addiction stemmed from some kind of negative emotion. The interaction is always cyclical. In the very same way, the solutions I might find can be cyclical. 

Anyone outside of the same addiction pattern would simply tell me to quit. And this is the only real solution to any addiction. The result of quitting brought up that negative emotion I had been avoiding for years now, insecurity.

Aside from writing about it and putting my insecurities on paper for everyone to read, I meditate on it every morning. I sit down and let myself get into a deep trance state. After I reach the state of being completely relaxed, I bring up this feeling of insecurity and observe it as if it wasn’t me. Then I acknowledge to myself that this is the feeling I want to overcome and that I desire to be free from it.

So far it felt like I’ve made huge progress in this. My insecurities do still arise, and I certainly have a long way to go, but working on it actively has unleashed a bunch of energy within me. I can now work on my career without feeling like a failure. I started working on art with a passion I’ve never felt before and have rekindled with the beauty of writing. These are just the first steps and I’m excited to keep working towards the life that I dream about.

“It’s only when you get beyond the emotion of fear and move into the unknown -despite the fear- that you turn your fear into passion and courage.”

~Dr. Joe Dispenza

Last Words

Thank you for reading this post, and I hope that you enjoyed reading it. If there’s anything you recognized about yourself or want to share with me, feel free to leave a comment. As I said earlier I’m making it a goal to post regularly. Some of the upcoming topics I want to write about are motivation, quitting weed, and meditation. On top, I am going to make an extra section on the blog to share my art. 

Make sure to sign up your email to the email list or follow me on social media to get the latest updates.

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Cesitli erisim kontrol secenekleri size daha fazla guvenlik ve rahatlik sunar. Parmak iziyle basit erisim kontrolu sayesinde artik ev anahtari gerekli degildir. Sahte anahtarlar ve unutulmus ev anahtarlari artik sizin icin sorun degil.
Bir alarm sistemi, guvenlik konseptinizi tamamlar. Size tavsiyelerde bulunuyor ve guvenlikle ilgili tum bilesenleri birbirine baglayan cozumler sunuyoruz. Boylece tamamen guvende hissediyorsunuz.
Duman ve yangin alarmlari dahil guvenlik konseptinizi olusturuyoruz. Kendi guvenliginiz icin.
Bizi arayin!

This post is sponsored by KIWI®, all thoughts and opinions are my own.

The end of brought about a big change for me, my husband and our pup.  Days before heading off for the holidays with our families, we moved into our new home, the first that we own together.  I’ve lived in Los Angeles since I was 18 and chose to hop from rental to rental because I never truly accepted Los Angeles as my long-term home. I think in a way, knowing my living situation was temporary and continuing to think of Canada as my home for all the years away gave me a sense of comfort.  If the big, bad world of LA ever got to be too much, I could always flee to the safety and comforts of “home” to accept me, cuddle me up and tell me it was all going to be okay.  Since getting married and sharing a life with my person out in LA, my feelings towards the big, bad city have changed.  Thanks to my husband and now, the dog we adopted almost two years ago, my home in LA gives me a sense of belonging, purpose and security that I never knew I could have in this land of crushed hopes and unattainable dreams.

The family I have out here makes all of those hopes and dreams seem possible and exciting and less significant to my identity any which way because I am a wife, dog-mom and now a homeowner not just one of a million lone-wolf actors trying to make it in Hollywood.

Of course, being a new homeowner means my domestication has been taken to the next level and my priorities have instantly changed.  I now want to earn and save money to plant trees in the backyard or get a new rug for the bedroom instead of spending it on that pair of designer boots or loafers I’ve had my eye on for months.  Shoes have always been my sweet spot for spending so my collection of boots and shoes is plentiful to say the least, but I have always been pretty careless about taking care of my things.  Now, with this new major financial responsibility on my hands, I’m going to have to take much better care of that collection to keep them looking good and lasting long!  My husband has always been very precious about his things and the shoes he’s had for years look nearly new thanks to KIWI Protect-All.  He has always encouraged me to do the same and I’ll admit, I turned a blind eye until now, but as the new owner of a beautiful home (and major responsibility!), I figure I better keep the shoes I do have looking the part!  With KIWI’s easy-to-use Protect-All spray, I can guard my shoe collection from the elements and extend their life in any weather.  This is a resolution that can be made a reality super simply with KIWI and thank goodness for that!

My house is beautiful.  It is truly more than I would’ve ever expected my first house to be and I love every inch of its style and construction but what gives me the most pride about it is everything it represents.  To me, this house represents the milestones I’ve surpassed in this city, the woman that’s evolved from that lonely and scared year-old-girl, the sense of self I was able to maintain against all obstacles and influences, the hours of tireless work I’ve put into my job to be able to afford to do this at an age at which some of my icons lost their lives to fast living.  These bricks and mortar represent the love that gave me new life just when I was starting to feel depleted and the odds my husband and I have overcome to turn our love at first sight story into a strong and lasting one.  Each support beam of this house represents the support of my husband and my family back home who let me leave on my own at a young age to pursue my dreams and encouraged me to stay and fight for them every time I got scared and wanted to run away.  This house is so much more than a house.  This house is my home and while I may not have put the manual labor into its construction or architectural flair into its design, I created it.  I created this home with perseverance, resilience, humility, love, gratitude,  self-awareness and drive and I now live in it and walk through it with pride.

I wanted to share this story with you to inspire you to keep striving towards your personal goals in   I hope that this year, you continue to fight hard for those personal goals and keep your chin held as high as you can muster while you do.  The universe pays it forward with personal and material rewards, I promise so just do you the best way you know how, learn and grow constantly and have faith that the rest will happen exactly how it’s meant to.  You are special and unique and you should #WalkWithPride every day for being who you are!

SHENAE GRIMES-BEECH

Shenae Grimes-Beech is an actor and YouTuber with a highly engaged community of like-minded women who are here to stand up for what they believe in and lean into discomfort, especially when it means doing the right thing.